Above and Inside my Head

The skies were blue?
Always?
I never noticed them
I directed mostly at eye level
Or at best below
Faces appeared interesting
Grass and dirt: attention grabbing
But the sky?
Nope. Never.

Sitting on a rattan chair on the balcony
Overlooking the roads
Raising my legs onto the iron railing
Admiring the red nail polish
On my toes
Someone said last time
“They are pretty”.

Riding bikes on empty roads
Letting go of both handles
Sometimes relinquishing the pedals too
Racing my friend on steep paths
Shouting in joy at the winds
With hair in my mouth
The skies were still blue?
All the while?
I never noticed them.

Holding the baby bundle
And walking down the stairs
For her first vaccine
Feeling her clutch on to my chest
Even though she was only a month or two
Crying tears with her when the needle pricked
Humming her home to sleep
The skies were still blue?
I never noticed them.

Saving money on cabs and three wheelers
Horse riding buses
Walking down crowded streets
Books and class notes in hand
Hurriedly alighting, missing a few steps
Picking up grocery and few candies
Sometimes buying foxtail grass flowers
For few bucks
Just for the heck of having the outside in
And the skies were always blue?
Behind my back
Above my head
Like a guardian umbrella?
I never noticed.

Rains came and it snowed too
Everything fell from the sky
Water, ice, sleet, snow flakes and tears
I fed the hungry ghosts
As if I had been waiting to
They ate fast and ate raw
And wanted more
I cooked and baked
And roasted and steamed
And grilled and fried
And steamed and boiled
But they were never full
Sweat and grime and worry and fret
I gave them my better and my best
Then I could do no more
And just had to drop stop.
That’s when I looked up
And saw the skies were blue
Someone said they always were
But for me its only now true.