The Creator and Myself

Finally yesterday I found an Art Plaza right next to my work place. I was very happy as I did not have to make a trip to Rockville to buy a 4 x 8 ft foam core board. I badly needed this as the artist inside me had not touched a brush for half a year and as usual I wanted to make something big and imposing. Jagannath installation in the Hindu temple in Maryland, only provided the push and incentive.

After a short drive but long detours along the snaking Cathedral Street in Baltimore's downtown, we were finally able to locate the shop. As I walked in excitedly with Anu tagging along and Abhijit parked on the road side, the girl at the counter told me that they were closing in 10mins. I thought I had ample time. I located some smaller panels at the back of the shop and asked the girl if they had larger ones. Very reluctantly she said that they did, but she would have to get it from their stock at the back. With the clock ticking by, she went inside and came back a couple of minutes later to inform me that she needed help, as the boards were somewhere high up on the shelves. So she sauntered to get the guy who worked with her. This burly African American went inside and fetched me a frayed piece that was 3 x 5 ft. It looked smaller than my intended measurements, but I wanted to buy one anyway. I asked him to wait a second so that I could go outside to ask Abhijit if it would fit into our Honda Civic otherwise I would come back later. It was getting dark and Anu and I went out to guard the car on the No Parking street while Abhijit went into the shop. In less than a minute he came out with the same frayed piece and the shop closed for the evening.

I ran to the shop to tell the girl that I needed a good piece and also 2 of them. But she shook her head to say that they were closed. I was mighty angry at her and Abhijit. At her because she was so sullen and at Abhijit because he did not check the piece that he was buying. And angrier still when I realized that the 3 x 5 ft soft foam board that was already battered would not fit into the car. No way. I tried the trunk, dropped the back seats, tried pushing it through the door. But NO. It just would not get in. Thats unless I ripped it. The stupid sales girl watched me from inside the store, but she would not open the door. After a mad bout of anger and frustration, I thought of leaving the board right there on the road side and leaving for home. Abhijit kept telling me that if we folded it, it might break a bit on the sides but that way it would fit in. I was looking at him in disbelief! How would you like to pay for a new dress that was torn the time you bought it and you had no way to return it back!! How would you like to create your best painting on a torn piece of canvas? He did not have answers for that. I knew I had to somehow cut the piece in half and carry it home. And afterwards I would decide if I had the incentive to work on it anymore or not. That would happen much later. Not now. Right now all I needed was to take it home.

I walked into the boutique right next to the Art store carrying the board and requested for a knife or a cutter. She said she had nothing apart from scissors and I should try the next door Dog shop. I carried the board and climbed the stairs to the next shop. I knocked and pushed the door open to the sound of bells and chimes. As I put my first step into this largish room that smelt very rabid, he came running at me. An over sized Bull dog. I was about to scramble down the stairs leaving him to chew on the board instead of my leg, but he stopped short just a breath away from me and waited patiently for his master to come. I was glued to the ground and we continued to stare at each other. His master came out eventually and I stammered for a cutter and a ruler. He found both of them and I spread the board on the already littered and crammed floor to start to cut it in half. As I frantically looked for the exact half of the sheet, I felt the canine come and stand next to me and finally saw him step on top of the board. As it was, the panel was frayed and I was bending over it with my weight making splotches, and now I had this horrid creature standing on top of it. I managed a small "Excuse me" at Mr Canine. His master gave a him a short "Come on Butler!" and Butler stepped off of my board. I was in a hurry to get out of the dingy place so I rushed with the cutting and when I folded the board in half at the end of the cut, I realized too late that it was not exactly in the center. Too stressed out anyway, I thanked the master and his slave and left the shop in a hurry. I pushed the two pieces of board into the car and we drove off. I felt all tight and sullen inside, as all I wanted to do now was to throw the panel away.

We reached home and I took the board out of the car. It wasnt completely destroyed on the front side as the cutter had failed to cut through the foam filling. That was some good news but I was still very sad as it wasn't a whole piece of virgin paper where I could start my work. I decided to discard it in the morning.

Close to midnight, when everyone was asleep and I had finally wrapped up the kitchen, I sneaked into the bedroom to get the panel out. Just to feel the knife go through my heart again at the sight of the useless piece. Then I felt it grow inside me. I had to listen to it. It was the voice of the Creater.The house was very quiet and dark. I sneaked into the kids closet and brought out pencils, erasers and rulers and started to sketch "KaLiya daLana" on the board. It was close to 2 in the morning when I finally got Krishna's flute adjusted to his blue arms and KaLiya looked quite happy holding the Lord above his head. I hit the bed in bliss.